Tuesday, January 03, 2006
2006 - Getting off to the right start
Well, with the a brand new year, brings in another full year of good partying and socializing. Of course, its always good to review our social etiquette once a year. so with that I've listed a few Man Codes for Social Settings.
- If someone is throwing a party and tells you to bring a chick, either bring a chick or don’t go to the party.
- If you really don’t know any girls: If someone is throwing a party and tells to you bring a chick, either bring a hooker or don’t go to the party.
- If you’re the jackass who requested the DJ to play “Celebration” or “YMCA”, your mother just called to remind you of your curfew.
- Never drink a cocktail using the straw. Don’t worry, the dishwasher will get rid of the lipstick mark that you just left on the glass.
- Never order a lemon drop. I know hearing Prince’s “Diamond and Pearls” put you in that tart mood, but just don’t do it.
- If both you and your buddy are struggling with the two chicks you just met – try the old switcheroo before outright giving up.
- It is definitely okay to be highly selective when first entering a club. But for every half hour you’ve been in the club without talking to a chick, you must lower your standards one notch on the 1-10 scale.
- If using the above rule has landed you a slump-buster three weekends in a row, they’re not slump-busters, that’s just your level.
- If you see your buddy talking to two chicks, unless your buddy has previously expressed (through actions or words) the desire to be left alone, you must wingman within 20 seconds.
- Do not confuse the term wingman with the terms bomberman / grenade diffuser. A wingman talks to the friend of the chick that his buddy is talking to. A bomberman / grenade diffuser talks to the friend of the chick that his buddy is talking to with the added stipulation that on a 1-10 scale, either a) the girl is 3 points below him, or b) the girl is below a 4 on a 1-10 scale, whichever is lower. Therefore, if you (the potential wingman / bomberman) is a 3 on a 1-10 scale, it is not scientifically possible for you to be a bomberman.
- If someone is throwing a party and tells you to bring a chick, either bring a chick or don’t go to the party.
- If you really don’t know any girls: If someone is throwing a party and tells to you bring a chick, either bring a hooker or don’t go to the party.
- If you’re the jackass who requested the DJ to play “Celebration” or “YMCA”, your mother just called to remind you of your curfew.
- Never drink a cocktail using the straw. Don’t worry, the dishwasher will get rid of the lipstick mark that you just left on the glass.
- Never order a lemon drop. I know hearing Prince’s “Diamond and Pearls” put you in that tart mood, but just don’t do it.
- If both you and your buddy are struggling with the two chicks you just met – try the old switcheroo before outright giving up.
- It is definitely okay to be highly selective when first entering a club. But for every half hour you’ve been in the club without talking to a chick, you must lower your standards one notch on the 1-10 scale.
- If using the above rule has landed you a slump-buster three weekends in a row, they’re not slump-busters, that’s just your level.
- If you see your buddy talking to two chicks, unless your buddy has previously expressed (through actions or words) the desire to be left alone, you must wingman within 20 seconds.
- Do not confuse the term wingman with the terms bomberman / grenade diffuser. A wingman talks to the friend of the chick that his buddy is talking to. A bomberman / grenade diffuser talks to the friend of the chick that his buddy is talking to with the added stipulation that on a 1-10 scale, either a) the girl is 3 points below him, or b) the girl is below a 4 on a 1-10 scale, whichever is lower. Therefore, if you (the potential wingman / bomberman) is a 3 on a 1-10 scale, it is not scientifically possible for you to be a bomberman.
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awesome rules! you need to come out to nyc again so we can make it another crazy weekend.
we don't have to go to the moma, but i know how much you liked the staten island ferry.
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we don't have to go to the moma, but i know how much you liked the staten island ferry.
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