LEPER MESSIAH SPEAKS

Boy it definitely must be the new year, because the gym was packed when I went. Yep, it must be New Year’s Resolution time again, or maybe better framed “Make a list of shit that you’re never going to do”. Oh well, these extras should be gone by the third week of January.

However…that does not preclude me from commenting on them while they are there. One of the guys there today has about 20 pounds to lose. Not a big deal, but here’s the catch. He ends up doing at least 10-15 minutes of situps / crunches. This ends up being one of the most ridiculous sights at the gym. Why do fat people do situps? Doing situps is not going to get rid of the volimous flab that has made your midsection its home and mansion. Or to re-phrase – have you ever seen someone with fat arms, a double or triple chin, cankles, and a SIX-PACK??!! You have a better chance of seeing a midget with a ten-inch dick.

Let me break it down to you… You CANNOT spot-reduce. As in lose fat in one spot and no where else. Those situps that you’re doing? Yes, they probably are building up your ab muscles. And you know what? WHO CARES?!! So now you’ve got strong abs covered up with 10 pounds of fat. Hooray for you, you can do 100 situps without stopping. And you what people are thinking when you tell them that? “Yeah, but you’re still fat.” It’s like never learning any speaking skills so that no matter how smart you are on the inside, people still think “but you sound retarded.”

SO STOP DOING SIT-UPS. Trust me, I have a better chance of stretching my dick out to 10 inches than you have getting a six-pack by just doing sit-ups. Use that 15 minutes you were wasting on sit-ups and run 2 extra miles. You’ll thank me later.