Sunday, February 12, 2006
It's not the city
As a background to this post, this rant is so extensive that it necessitated me writing The Scale, parts 2 & 3, and the Joey Rule just so I could keep this post within a page.
Anyway, the scenario: hanging out with one of my good buddies and some of his grad school colleagues. We’re having drinks when the subject of night life comes up. One of the girls comments that San Francisco night life is horrible, as all the guys are too ugly or too short.
Now I’m writing a response to this although I’m not personally offended by this. I’m 6’1 so I don’t fall in the short category. And both your mom and sister have told me that I’m very good looking, so I probably don’t fall in the ugly category. I’m writing a response because I’ve heard this statement numerous times (guys talking about SF girls, or girls talking about SF guys), and all I can think of is what a lame excuse.
My initial counter was, San Francisco sucks compared to what? Sacramento? San Jose? Fresno? Some city in Wisconsin? Pittsburg, Pennsylvania? Of course, the natural answer was it sucks compared to Los Angeles. What part? Encino? Pasadena? Ok, even though you have to drive an hour to get to the nightlife, I will give you LA, and of course New York (Manhattan) and South Miami Beach, and Viva Las Vegas. Which puts San Francisco at…#4 in the entire country! Oh yeah, you’re right, SF sucks.
But, let’s get back to the subject – “SF guys are too ugly or too short.” Now as further background, this girl was a 4-4.5 on the scale. She get bumped down -1 for on the personality adjustment. Decently nice, and willing to conversate, but boring, didn't understand sarcasm, and didn’t say one thing midly funny. So even if her statement about SF guys were true, using the Joey Scale, that’s perfect for her! For instance, imagine her going over to the Spider Club, LAX, or Cabana Club in LA; Pure or Light in Vegas; Mansion or Amika in South Beach. Can you image the tall and good looking guys she’s looking for stopping to talk to her when there are a bunch of hot (and probably much cooler) chicks to approach instead?
Now let’s analyze why this girl made this statement of “SF guys are too ugly or too short.” Let me guess, you’ve never made out with a guy at a club. You’ve never met anyone at a club who was not a friend of a friend. You’re seldom approached by guys at clubs. The ones that are, fall into your category of short and ugly. You don’t talk to them, partly because you don’t find them attractive, but moreso because you lack the social skills to conversate with them. As in, are these guys any lower on the scale than the guy friends that you currently have? Are these guys any lower on the scale than the guys you have dated before? Oh wait, you probably don't date.
Meanwhile, at the exact same bar or club that you’re at, the crowd is thinning out, because guys are leaving the place with girls that they met there. Others are leaving because they have accomplished their goal of getting a couple phone numbers. And these people include girls and guys much better looking than you. (Example: Go over to Matrix, Dulce, Ruby Skye, Bar None, Dragon Bar, Lion’s Den, and you’ll see dudes getting pretty hot chicks.)
So stop blaming guys, stop blaming clubs, stop blaming the city. Take some responsibility for your own actions or lack thereof. Follow some basic social rules (you’ll have to come up with a girls’ version) and maybe one day, you’ll be able to enjoy the SF nightlife just like the rest of us.
Anyway, the scenario: hanging out with one of my good buddies and some of his grad school colleagues. We’re having drinks when the subject of night life comes up. One of the girls comments that San Francisco night life is horrible, as all the guys are too ugly or too short.
Now I’m writing a response to this although I’m not personally offended by this. I’m 6’1 so I don’t fall in the short category. And both your mom and sister have told me that I’m very good looking, so I probably don’t fall in the ugly category. I’m writing a response because I’ve heard this statement numerous times (guys talking about SF girls, or girls talking about SF guys), and all I can think of is what a lame excuse.
My initial counter was, San Francisco sucks compared to what? Sacramento? San Jose? Fresno? Some city in Wisconsin? Pittsburg, Pennsylvania? Of course, the natural answer was it sucks compared to Los Angeles. What part? Encino? Pasadena? Ok, even though you have to drive an hour to get to the nightlife, I will give you LA, and of course New York (Manhattan) and South Miami Beach, and Viva Las Vegas. Which puts San Francisco at…#4 in the entire country! Oh yeah, you’re right, SF sucks.
But, let’s get back to the subject – “SF guys are too ugly or too short.” Now as further background, this girl was a 4-4.5 on the scale. She get bumped down -1 for on the personality adjustment. Decently nice, and willing to conversate, but boring, didn't understand sarcasm, and didn’t say one thing midly funny. So even if her statement about SF guys were true, using the Joey Scale, that’s perfect for her! For instance, imagine her going over to the Spider Club, LAX, or Cabana Club in LA; Pure or Light in Vegas; Mansion or Amika in South Beach. Can you image the tall and good looking guys she’s looking for stopping to talk to her when there are a bunch of hot (and probably much cooler) chicks to approach instead?
Now let’s analyze why this girl made this statement of “SF guys are too ugly or too short.” Let me guess, you’ve never made out with a guy at a club. You’ve never met anyone at a club who was not a friend of a friend. You’re seldom approached by guys at clubs. The ones that are, fall into your category of short and ugly. You don’t talk to them, partly because you don’t find them attractive, but moreso because you lack the social skills to conversate with them. As in, are these guys any lower on the scale than the guy friends that you currently have? Are these guys any lower on the scale than the guys you have dated before? Oh wait, you probably don't date.
Meanwhile, at the exact same bar or club that you’re at, the crowd is thinning out, because guys are leaving the place with girls that they met there. Others are leaving because they have accomplished their goal of getting a couple phone numbers. And these people include girls and guys much better looking than you. (Example: Go over to Matrix, Dulce, Ruby Skye, Bar None, Dragon Bar, Lion’s Den, and you’ll see dudes getting pretty hot chicks.)
So stop blaming guys, stop blaming clubs, stop blaming the city. Take some responsibility for your own actions or lack thereof. Follow some basic social rules (you’ll have to come up with a girls’ version) and maybe one day, you’ll be able to enjoy the SF nightlife just like the rest of us.
