Saturday, March 18, 2006
A Matter of Perspective
You ever get totally conflicting opinions from two people about the same subject? One of your friends hates Anchorman (douche!), while the other accurately depicts it for what it is, one of the funniest movies of all time! Someone whines about how the nightlife sucks, while someone raves about what a fun night he/she had at Fluid?
Well, of course, that's because people have different personalities, objectives, and agendas, which cause people to have differing experiences and interpetations of events around them.
Another example of this can be evidenced when talking about different cities. [Now instead of saying conflicting opinions, I'll just say differing outlooks, as no-one will ever say they didn't have a good time while on vacation in another city.] Given the short period of time people have to visit a city, the places they will visit and activities they will participate in will be vary slightly to a lot.
A perfect example of this was my flight back to San Francisco from Sydney. [note: post about trip is still in edit mode]. Seated to my left, was a cool dude, Kevin, a Colombus, Ohio medical resident who along with a few other residents, got to do a six-week stint with a hospital in Sydney. On my right was a cool and good-looking chick, Kim, who went last minute, by herself and with no contact, when her friend couldn't go and gave Kim her plane ticket. Lastly, there was me in the middle. I had met up with Anh, who flew in from L.A. His crew of 5 yoked-out Aussies (freinds of his roommate) showed us around.
Me to Kevin: "We partied hard, Fri - Sun. We went to these places, Hugo's at the Crest Hotel, Dragonfire, and Tank, that had smokin' hot chicks! I mean, like LA hot, quantity and quality. But the chicks were kinda tough"
Kevin: "Yeah, we went to Hugo's a couple of nights. Those chicks were tough. But there was this place called Element across the street - the girls were a notch lower, but much easier!"
Me to Kim: "My buddy stayed at the Kirketon in Kings Cross. I stayed at the Altamon which was just down the block. It was about $125 a night."
Kim: "I stayed at a backpackers' hotel for $18 a night."
Kim to Me: "Oh so you were pretty close to the Mardi Gras Parade"
Me: "Yeah, that wasn't our scene, so we avoided the chaos by having dinner in Bondi that night. Then we partied at the clubs that night."
Kim: "Oh, I checked it out. It was total chaos. But I had fun - ended up getting super high and drunk, and passed out on the street" (She is not gay by the way)
Me to Kevin: "Well, we were only there for five, six days. And since were partying so hard, we only got to spend about 4 hours total on the beach during the trip."
Kevin: "The hospital we were stationed at, pretty much only made us work 4 days the entire time. We got to do about six days of surfing. It was awesome."
Me to Kim: "Every club we went to seemed to only play house."
Kim: "All I heard all weekend was rock. I was out at this park concert with 25 bands on Saturday".
And with that, I've left you with three perspectives of the great city of Sydney. Oi!
Well, of course, that's because people have different personalities, objectives, and agendas, which cause people to have differing experiences and interpetations of events around them.
Another example of this can be evidenced when talking about different cities. [Now instead of saying conflicting opinions, I'll just say differing outlooks, as no-one will ever say they didn't have a good time while on vacation in another city.] Given the short period of time people have to visit a city, the places they will visit and activities they will participate in will be vary slightly to a lot.
A perfect example of this was my flight back to San Francisco from Sydney. [note: post about trip is still in edit mode]. Seated to my left, was a cool dude, Kevin, a Colombus, Ohio medical resident who along with a few other residents, got to do a six-week stint with a hospital in Sydney. On my right was a cool and good-looking chick, Kim, who went last minute, by herself and with no contact, when her friend couldn't go and gave Kim her plane ticket. Lastly, there was me in the middle. I had met up with Anh, who flew in from L.A. His crew of 5 yoked-out Aussies (freinds of his roommate) showed us around.
Me to Kevin: "We partied hard, Fri - Sun. We went to these places, Hugo's at the Crest Hotel, Dragonfire, and Tank, that had smokin' hot chicks! I mean, like LA hot, quantity and quality. But the chicks were kinda tough"
Kevin: "Yeah, we went to Hugo's a couple of nights. Those chicks were tough. But there was this place called Element across the street - the girls were a notch lower, but much easier!"
Me to Kim: "My buddy stayed at the Kirketon in Kings Cross. I stayed at the Altamon which was just down the block. It was about $125 a night."
Kim: "I stayed at a backpackers' hotel for $18 a night."
Kim to Me: "Oh so you were pretty close to the Mardi Gras Parade"
Me: "Yeah, that wasn't our scene, so we avoided the chaos by having dinner in Bondi that night. Then we partied at the clubs that night."
Kim: "Oh, I checked it out. It was total chaos. But I had fun - ended up getting super high and drunk, and passed out on the street" (She is not gay by the way)
Me to Kevin: "Well, we were only there for five, six days. And since were partying so hard, we only got to spend about 4 hours total on the beach during the trip."
Kevin: "The hospital we were stationed at, pretty much only made us work 4 days the entire time. We got to do about six days of surfing. It was awesome."
Me to Kim: "Every club we went to seemed to only play house."
Kim: "All I heard all weekend was rock. I was out at this park concert with 25 bands on Saturday".
And with that, I've left you with three perspectives of the great city of Sydney. Oi!
Impeach Bush!
So my college buddy, Sang, was in town last weekend. Now we went to UC Berkeley, which is just across the bay, from San Francisco. After college, left the Bay Area and now lives in Atlanta.
Anyway, since it was over 5 years since Sang has stepped back in San Francisco, I decided to give him a quick re-tour of the city. Among some of the comments:
[After I told him we were going to go check out Union Square] "Oh, you mean that grassy area where we celebrated the New Year's countdown a long time ago?" [side note: I am currently hammering out this blog, on one of the seating areas at Union Square, using the free Googe Wifi]
[After showing him the Ferry Building] "You know, the entire time I was at Berkeley, I don't think I ever stepped inside the Ferry Building." Yes, Sang, that's because before it got renovated a couple years ago, it was more or less a homeless shelter.
"I don't see why you keep saying the Tenderloin is so bad - the places you showed me were really cool." This was after we stopped by Eura Cafe for coffee, Swig for beers, and peered inside Rye Bar, which was closed. [Side note: I live on the boundary, and not tbe heart of the Tenderlon].
[After showing him the buildup of South of Market] "When I was in school, the only place here was Club Cairo".
My point being, its the natural and popular thought, to bash politicians, and their inability to solve society's problems, and to assign corruption and dishonesty to anyone carrying the political label. But before you start complaining about the political process, look around you and try to appreciate the progress that takes place in our society every day.
Anyway, since it was over 5 years since Sang has stepped back in San Francisco, I decided to give him a quick re-tour of the city. Among some of the comments:
[After I told him we were going to go check out Union Square] "Oh, you mean that grassy area where we celebrated the New Year's countdown a long time ago?" [side note: I am currently hammering out this blog, on one of the seating areas at Union Square, using the free Googe Wifi]
[After showing him the Ferry Building] "You know, the entire time I was at Berkeley, I don't think I ever stepped inside the Ferry Building." Yes, Sang, that's because before it got renovated a couple years ago, it was more or less a homeless shelter.
"I don't see why you keep saying the Tenderloin is so bad - the places you showed me were really cool." This was after we stopped by Eura Cafe for coffee, Swig for beers, and peered inside Rye Bar, which was closed. [Side note: I live on the boundary, and not tbe heart of the Tenderlon].
[After showing him the buildup of South of Market] "When I was in school, the only place here was Club Cairo".
My point being, its the natural and popular thought, to bash politicians, and their inability to solve society's problems, and to assign corruption and dishonesty to anyone carrying the political label. But before you start complaining about the political process, look around you and try to appreciate the progress that takes place in our society every day.
Sunday, February 26, 2006
Chinese Democracy
Chinese Democracy!
Ok, so China is still communistic and Guns N’ Roses newest album still hasn’t come out, but… songs are floating out there and 107.7 the Bone even played the track “IRS”. Not a bad track, seemed to have a little of the good old Appetite for Destruction aggression.
Now does Axl Rose qualify as the most obsessive / compulsive person the music industry? After Appetite for Destruction, it takes them four years to come out with Use Your Illusion, most likely because he's trying to make an epic out of every song.
Then, he drives everyone out of band, because its impossible to get anything done with the guy, and takes 10 years to (hopefully) put out his next album. Look, we appreciate what you're trying to do - your desire for perfection leads to stuff like November Rain, but really, its cool, you don't need to be perfect. Most of us will like some of your songs even if they aren't technically perfect, and some of us will strongly dislike song of your songs that are technically perfect.
Anyway, a quick take on a few of the songs I got to check out. I don't know which of these will make the final cut.
Better - a definite hit. Industrial, yet classic rock feel.
Dust in the wind - pretty cool song. An Axl Rose ballad special.
Shadow of your love - pretty cool. Sounds like something you would find on Appetite for Destruction.
There was a time - I only heard the instrumental. Its kinda both industrial and electronica. Pretty cool Megadeth-like riff.
Supposedly Chinese Democracy will be in a couple months.
Ok, so China is still communistic and Guns N’ Roses newest album still hasn’t come out, but… songs are floating out there and 107.7 the Bone even played the track “IRS”. Not a bad track, seemed to have a little of the good old Appetite for Destruction aggression.
Now does Axl Rose qualify as the most obsessive / compulsive person the music industry? After Appetite for Destruction, it takes them four years to come out with Use Your Illusion, most likely because he's trying to make an epic out of every song.
Then, he drives everyone out of band, because its impossible to get anything done with the guy, and takes 10 years to (hopefully) put out his next album. Look, we appreciate what you're trying to do - your desire for perfection leads to stuff like November Rain, but really, its cool, you don't need to be perfect. Most of us will like some of your songs even if they aren't technically perfect, and some of us will strongly dislike song of your songs that are technically perfect.
Anyway, a quick take on a few of the songs I got to check out. I don't know which of these will make the final cut.
Better - a definite hit. Industrial, yet classic rock feel.
Dust in the wind - pretty cool song. An Axl Rose ballad special.
Shadow of your love - pretty cool. Sounds like something you would find on Appetite for Destruction.
There was a time - I only heard the instrumental. Its kinda both industrial and electronica. Pretty cool Megadeth-like riff.
Supposedly Chinese Democracy will be in a couple months.
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
Word of the day!
So you know when you dislike a person, and you’re trying to explain to your friends why you don’t like that person, but you can’t really find the right term. As in, the dude is just an a**hole…nah that’s not it…just a straight loser….well more of just a cake eater…actually a real toolbox.
See all of these terms have specific attributes, and should not just be mixed and match. So over the next few weeks, I’ll be going over a few of these terms. And today’s word – douchebag!
According to urbandictionary.com:
1. An object used for vaginal hygeine.
2. Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Not to be confuzed (sic) with douche.
4. A douchebag is a pretentious, sugar coated prick, but with emphasis on pretentious and sugar coated. It's not an adjective for an asshole, because assholes call other people douchebags, and assholes are more often than not proud of being assholes.
Obviously, definition #1 being the actual product (ask your sister for more details.)
Definition #2 – pretty poor in my opinion. I definitely think douchebag is worse than jerk or asshole. However, this conveys a notion that these all describe the same traits, and are different only by the degree of such traits. That’s not the case – asshole and douchebag have total different applications. Furthermoe, a-hole isn’t really bad, and is dependent on who calls you that. For instance, if some wussy teabag called you that, would you even care? In fact, in such scenario you probably would take it as a compliment and leave everything be. But I don’t care who it is, if someone calls you a douchebag you should be upset. Next, I definitely disagree with fucker being worse than douchebag. Actually, I don’t even think fucker is bad. Its really more of a term of endearment. Ain’t that right Finch-Fucker? Now on the other hand, motherfucker is definitely bad. At this point, I don’t know if its worse than douchebag, however. Lastly, I’ve used the terms douche and douchebag interchangeably, but urbandictionary is probably right. The terms should have different applications. I’ll have the lexicographers look more into that.
Alright, this post is getting a lot longer than I evnvisioned. I’ll go over definition #4 next time, which I think does get much closer to the true meaning. So stay tuned..
See all of these terms have specific attributes, and should not just be mixed and match. So over the next few weeks, I’ll be going over a few of these terms. And today’s word – douchebag!
According to urbandictionary.com:
1. An object used for vaginal hygeine.
2. Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker. Not to be confuzed (sic) with douche.
4. A douchebag is a pretentious, sugar coated prick, but with emphasis on pretentious and sugar coated. It's not an adjective for an asshole, because assholes call other people douchebags, and assholes are more often than not proud of being assholes.
Obviously, definition #1 being the actual product (ask your sister for more details.)
Definition #2 – pretty poor in my opinion. I definitely think douchebag is worse than jerk or asshole. However, this conveys a notion that these all describe the same traits, and are different only by the degree of such traits. That’s not the case – asshole and douchebag have total different applications. Furthermoe, a-hole isn’t really bad, and is dependent on who calls you that. For instance, if some wussy teabag called you that, would you even care? In fact, in such scenario you probably would take it as a compliment and leave everything be. But I don’t care who it is, if someone calls you a douchebag you should be upset. Next, I definitely disagree with fucker being worse than douchebag. Actually, I don’t even think fucker is bad. Its really more of a term of endearment. Ain’t that right Finch-Fucker? Now on the other hand, motherfucker is definitely bad. At this point, I don’t know if its worse than douchebag, however. Lastly, I’ve used the terms douche and douchebag interchangeably, but urbandictionary is probably right. The terms should have different applications. I’ll have the lexicographers look more into that.
Alright, this post is getting a lot longer than I evnvisioned. I’ll go over definition #4 next time, which I think does get much closer to the true meaning. So stay tuned..
Thursday, February 16, 2006
Break your remote!
So ever since I moved into my studio in the city, I have opted not to get cable. Here’s some of my reasoning: I already subscribe to Blockbuster Online which takes care of movies for me. I live close to a bunch of sports bars if I need to catch a few basketball games. I can use any left over cable savings to buy DVD’s of the shows I like, e.g. Chapelle’s show, Mind of Mencia, Family Guy, Scrubs, etc.
The other main reason is that its so easy to just waste your life away watching TV instead of doing something productive, like going out to bars. I remember wathcing a full season of the Surreal Life last year. Other than hearing Janice Dickinson describe Amorosa as Rick James’ Siamese twin, that entire season was a waste. The rest of the time I saw Balky pathetically grope all of the woman, and in general be a total douche.
And here’s the extreme version of how TV can just suck your life away. In this month’s Maxim, they found a 54 year old guy living in some beat up house, with 14 satellite dishes, giving him access to 5000 channels. Here’s my favorite questions that they asked him:
What’s your favorite thing to watch?
A: I like watching different local channels. I like to watch the Jordan news, Iraq news—I get all them foreign channels.
Q: Have you traveled much at all?
A: No, I just like watching.
[Note: this is the last step of the full evolution of loser couch potato – when you’ve ramped up your news and political show viewing, as you feel like this at least is productive. Can there be a bigger waste of time than watching Bill Frist demand Terry Shiavo be kept alive on "The Situation with (bow-tied prick-boy) Tucker Carlson?"]
Who’s the hottest girl on satellite TV right now?
A: The girl on Weather-Vision, Shanna Kurek. I don’t never miss her show.
Q: Are you single?
Yes. I haven’t found the right person yet.
Classic.
The other main reason is that its so easy to just waste your life away watching TV instead of doing something productive, like going out to bars. I remember wathcing a full season of the Surreal Life last year. Other than hearing Janice Dickinson describe Amorosa as Rick James’ Siamese twin, that entire season was a waste. The rest of the time I saw Balky pathetically grope all of the woman, and in general be a total douche.
And here’s the extreme version of how TV can just suck your life away. In this month’s Maxim, they found a 54 year old guy living in some beat up house, with 14 satellite dishes, giving him access to 5000 channels. Here’s my favorite questions that they asked him:
What’s your favorite thing to watch?
A: I like watching different local channels. I like to watch the Jordan news, Iraq news—I get all them foreign channels.
Q: Have you traveled much at all?
A: No, I just like watching.
[Note: this is the last step of the full evolution of loser couch potato – when you’ve ramped up your news and political show viewing, as you feel like this at least is productive. Can there be a bigger waste of time than watching Bill Frist demand Terry Shiavo be kept alive on "The Situation with (bow-tied prick-boy) Tucker Carlson?"]
Who’s the hottest girl on satellite TV right now?
A: The girl on Weather-Vision, Shanna Kurek. I don’t never miss her show.
Q: Are you single?
Yes. I haven’t found the right person yet.
Classic.
Sunday, February 12, 2006
Revisiting...
You ever have a situation where you listen to an album and dismiss it as subpar or even crap, but then give it another chance 6 months later, and totally change your mind about it?
Well, that's how I feel about Weezer's "Make Believe" album. Maybe it's because I thought the first single "Beverly Hills" was pretty bland, or (and probably moreso) because the album title was "Make Believe", which to me would be the lamest album title of the year, had Bon Jovi not titled theirs "Have a Nice Day". But I gave it another shot a couple weeks back, and now I'm really digging it. Kinda has the same vibe as the Blue and Green albums which might be the only reason to like Weezer. For example, Pinkerton probably has the most edge musically of all of their albums, but who cares? People like Weezer for their short and nerdy fun two-and-half minute songs, not for the complexity (or lack thereof) their music.
So with that here's a sample list of some must have albums (and no, "Make Believe" does not make this list). If you've dismissed these albums, I highly recommend a second take.
Ozzy Osbourne - Blizzard of Ozz
Metallica - Master of Puppets
Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction
AC/DC - Back in Black
Alice in Chains - Facelift
Iron Maiden - Powerslave
Weezer - Blue
Metallica - ...And Justice for All
Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
Rage Against the Machine - (self-titled)
Nirvana - Nevermind
Blink 182 - Enema of the State
Well, that's how I feel about Weezer's "Make Believe" album. Maybe it's because I thought the first single "Beverly Hills" was pretty bland, or (and probably moreso) because the album title was "Make Believe", which to me would be the lamest album title of the year, had Bon Jovi not titled theirs "Have a Nice Day". But I gave it another shot a couple weeks back, and now I'm really digging it. Kinda has the same vibe as the Blue and Green albums which might be the only reason to like Weezer. For example, Pinkerton probably has the most edge musically of all of their albums, but who cares? People like Weezer for their short and nerdy fun two-and-half minute songs, not for the complexity (or lack thereof) their music.
So with that here's a sample list of some must have albums (and no, "Make Believe" does not make this list). If you've dismissed these albums, I highly recommend a second take.
Ozzy Osbourne - Blizzard of Ozz
Metallica - Master of Puppets
Guns N' Roses - Appetite for Destruction
AC/DC - Back in Black
Alice in Chains - Facelift
Iron Maiden - Powerslave
Weezer - Blue
Metallica - ...And Justice for All
Linkin Park - Hybrid Theory
Rage Against the Machine - (self-titled)
Nirvana - Nevermind
Blink 182 - Enema of the State
It's not the city
As a background to this post, this rant is so extensive that it necessitated me writing The Scale, parts 2 & 3, and the Joey Rule just so I could keep this post within a page.
Anyway, the scenario: hanging out with one of my good buddies and some of his grad school colleagues. We’re having drinks when the subject of night life comes up. One of the girls comments that San Francisco night life is horrible, as all the guys are too ugly or too short.
Now I’m writing a response to this although I’m not personally offended by this. I’m 6’1 so I don’t fall in the short category. And both your mom and sister have told me that I’m very good looking, so I probably don’t fall in the ugly category. I’m writing a response because I’ve heard this statement numerous times (guys talking about SF girls, or girls talking about SF guys), and all I can think of is what a lame excuse.
My initial counter was, San Francisco sucks compared to what? Sacramento? San Jose? Fresno? Some city in Wisconsin? Pittsburg, Pennsylvania? Of course, the natural answer was it sucks compared to Los Angeles. What part? Encino? Pasadena? Ok, even though you have to drive an hour to get to the nightlife, I will give you LA, and of course New York (Manhattan) and South Miami Beach, and Viva Las Vegas. Which puts San Francisco at…#4 in the entire country! Oh yeah, you’re right, SF sucks.
But, let’s get back to the subject – “SF guys are too ugly or too short.” Now as further background, this girl was a 4-4.5 on the scale. She get bumped down -1 for on the personality adjustment. Decently nice, and willing to conversate, but boring, didn't understand sarcasm, and didn’t say one thing midly funny. So even if her statement about SF guys were true, using the Joey Scale, that’s perfect for her! For instance, imagine her going over to the Spider Club, LAX, or Cabana Club in LA; Pure or Light in Vegas; Mansion or Amika in South Beach. Can you image the tall and good looking guys she’s looking for stopping to talk to her when there are a bunch of hot (and probably much cooler) chicks to approach instead?
Now let’s analyze why this girl made this statement of “SF guys are too ugly or too short.” Let me guess, you’ve never made out with a guy at a club. You’ve never met anyone at a club who was not a friend of a friend. You’re seldom approached by guys at clubs. The ones that are, fall into your category of short and ugly. You don’t talk to them, partly because you don’t find them attractive, but moreso because you lack the social skills to conversate with them. As in, are these guys any lower on the scale than the guy friends that you currently have? Are these guys any lower on the scale than the guys you have dated before? Oh wait, you probably don't date.
Meanwhile, at the exact same bar or club that you’re at, the crowd is thinning out, because guys are leaving the place with girls that they met there. Others are leaving because they have accomplished their goal of getting a couple phone numbers. And these people include girls and guys much better looking than you. (Example: Go over to Matrix, Dulce, Ruby Skye, Bar None, Dragon Bar, Lion’s Den, and you’ll see dudes getting pretty hot chicks.)
So stop blaming guys, stop blaming clubs, stop blaming the city. Take some responsibility for your own actions or lack thereof. Follow some basic social rules (you’ll have to come up with a girls’ version) and maybe one day, you’ll be able to enjoy the SF nightlife just like the rest of us.
Anyway, the scenario: hanging out with one of my good buddies and some of his grad school colleagues. We’re having drinks when the subject of night life comes up. One of the girls comments that San Francisco night life is horrible, as all the guys are too ugly or too short.
Now I’m writing a response to this although I’m not personally offended by this. I’m 6’1 so I don’t fall in the short category. And both your mom and sister have told me that I’m very good looking, so I probably don’t fall in the ugly category. I’m writing a response because I’ve heard this statement numerous times (guys talking about SF girls, or girls talking about SF guys), and all I can think of is what a lame excuse.
My initial counter was, San Francisco sucks compared to what? Sacramento? San Jose? Fresno? Some city in Wisconsin? Pittsburg, Pennsylvania? Of course, the natural answer was it sucks compared to Los Angeles. What part? Encino? Pasadena? Ok, even though you have to drive an hour to get to the nightlife, I will give you LA, and of course New York (Manhattan) and South Miami Beach, and Viva Las Vegas. Which puts San Francisco at…#4 in the entire country! Oh yeah, you’re right, SF sucks.
But, let’s get back to the subject – “SF guys are too ugly or too short.” Now as further background, this girl was a 4-4.5 on the scale. She get bumped down -1 for on the personality adjustment. Decently nice, and willing to conversate, but boring, didn't understand sarcasm, and didn’t say one thing midly funny. So even if her statement about SF guys were true, using the Joey Scale, that’s perfect for her! For instance, imagine her going over to the Spider Club, LAX, or Cabana Club in LA; Pure or Light in Vegas; Mansion or Amika in South Beach. Can you image the tall and good looking guys she’s looking for stopping to talk to her when there are a bunch of hot (and probably much cooler) chicks to approach instead?
Now let’s analyze why this girl made this statement of “SF guys are too ugly or too short.” Let me guess, you’ve never made out with a guy at a club. You’ve never met anyone at a club who was not a friend of a friend. You’re seldom approached by guys at clubs. The ones that are, fall into your category of short and ugly. You don’t talk to them, partly because you don’t find them attractive, but moreso because you lack the social skills to conversate with them. As in, are these guys any lower on the scale than the guy friends that you currently have? Are these guys any lower on the scale than the guys you have dated before? Oh wait, you probably don't date.
Meanwhile, at the exact same bar or club that you’re at, the crowd is thinning out, because guys are leaving the place with girls that they met there. Others are leaving because they have accomplished their goal of getting a couple phone numbers. And these people include girls and guys much better looking than you. (Example: Go over to Matrix, Dulce, Ruby Skye, Bar None, Dragon Bar, Lion’s Den, and you’ll see dudes getting pretty hot chicks.)
So stop blaming guys, stop blaming clubs, stop blaming the city. Take some responsibility for your own actions or lack thereof. Follow some basic social rules (you’ll have to come up with a girls’ version) and maybe one day, you’ll be able to enjoy the SF nightlife just like the rest of us.
Sunday, February 05, 2006
Super Sunday!
Things that struck me during the Super Bowl – pre-game.
#1. The Mick Jagger interview, (as the Rolling Stones were the half-time act.) The dude has an accent! Which is obvious because he’s British, but… when they sing, the accent just disappears. I saw them in concert a few months back, and I didn’t notice a single bit of British snottiness in their voices.
Now of course, the most extreme example of this is Ozzy Osbourne. If I had to imagine how a homeless Liverpool heroin addict sounded like, I would probably just try to find footage of the old MTV show, the Osbournes. But listen to the Blizzard of Ozz or even his latest album, Under Cover, and low and behold – you can understand him!
Which leads me to the following questions? What is the explanation to this phenomenon? Does it only apply to Brits? Does it only apply to rockers? Does this give hope to William Hung? Maybe he just needs to sing “Iron Man” instead of “She Bangs”?
#2. Commercials for 20/20. So everyone is getting stuffed off of chips and beer, and generally enjoying a good buzz before kick-off. And then there’s this 20/20 commercial about how people are tracking your phone calls and who they’re selling your info to. Thanks for the buzzkill, ABC. Why show this ad now? Couldn't you wait until Grey’s Anatomy?
#3. The people with field tickets dancing to Stevie Wonder. I’m not going to describe it. Just go watch the Chappelle’s Show season 2 – the skit with John Mayer. As to paraphrase Dave Chapelle, its not that white people can’t dance, its just that they’re much better off dancing to Every Rose Has its Thorn than My Cherie Amour.
Enjoy the game!
#1. The Mick Jagger interview, (as the Rolling Stones were the half-time act.) The dude has an accent! Which is obvious because he’s British, but… when they sing, the accent just disappears. I saw them in concert a few months back, and I didn’t notice a single bit of British snottiness in their voices.
Now of course, the most extreme example of this is Ozzy Osbourne. If I had to imagine how a homeless Liverpool heroin addict sounded like, I would probably just try to find footage of the old MTV show, the Osbournes. But listen to the Blizzard of Ozz or even his latest album, Under Cover, and low and behold – you can understand him!
Which leads me to the following questions? What is the explanation to this phenomenon? Does it only apply to Brits? Does it only apply to rockers? Does this give hope to William Hung? Maybe he just needs to sing “Iron Man” instead of “She Bangs”?
#2. Commercials for 20/20. So everyone is getting stuffed off of chips and beer, and generally enjoying a good buzz before kick-off. And then there’s this 20/20 commercial about how people are tracking your phone calls and who they’re selling your info to. Thanks for the buzzkill, ABC. Why show this ad now? Couldn't you wait until Grey’s Anatomy?
#3. The people with field tickets dancing to Stevie Wonder. I’m not going to describe it. Just go watch the Chappelle’s Show season 2 – the skit with John Mayer. As to paraphrase Dave Chapelle, its not that white people can’t dance, its just that they’re much better off dancing to Every Rose Has its Thorn than My Cherie Amour.
Enjoy the game!
Sunday, January 29, 2006
The Joey Rule
"For example, you're a 6. So that means, you can go as low as a 4, or as high as an 8. Now, me, I'm a 9. So I could go as low as a 7, or hypothetically, go as high as an 11. Or… I could get a 5 and a 4". – Joey Tribbiani to his cousin Michael Tribbiani
The above quote, not exactly verbatim, came from the sitcom “Joey”, the spin-off of “Friends”, and probably sums up one of the best uses of the scale. Joey also referenced a 1-10 scale, although I can’t say whether his was a bell curve like ours. But his method, was identify what you are on the scale, and then you can go –2 or +2.
And boy does this make sense. Have you ever been to a club with someone, and you point out a couple of average to attractive looking chicks - only to hear that person say, “oh, she’s kinda thick” or “she’s not that hot”. And then in your confusion, you look back at the guy, and you’re like, dude, you’re not exactly Brad Pitt… actually you’re not even really Bud Bundy… in fact, you’re more like Screech from Saved by the Bell.
The point being, you got to have realistic expectations, Broseph. If you’re 5, your starting point should be chicks who are 5s. Now, of course, you can and should strive to do better. But, that’s only going to happen if you’re actually a cool person. As in, throw in a +2 for the personality factor, and now you’re a 7 on the overall scale, and you now have the potential to bag hot chicks.
Here’s living proof. Let’s take Donald Trump. He’s probably anywhere between a 5-7 depending on how you rate his toupee. So, for discussion sake, let’s call him a 6. But he’s a cool guy. (Yes, arrogant and cocky fu*kers get more respect from us than nice wussy teabags). So bump him up +2 and he’s now an 8 on the adjusted scale. Now you see why he’s getting hot chicks. [More on this later, for those of you who are just saying it’s because he’s rich].
So Screech, work on lowering your voice a couple octaves, and soon you’ll be getting a few attractive chicks. Until then, just be happy with the 4’s and 5’s of the world.
The above quote, not exactly verbatim, came from the sitcom “Joey”, the spin-off of “Friends”, and probably sums up one of the best uses of the scale. Joey also referenced a 1-10 scale, although I can’t say whether his was a bell curve like ours. But his method, was identify what you are on the scale, and then you can go –2 or +2.
And boy does this make sense. Have you ever been to a club with someone, and you point out a couple of average to attractive looking chicks - only to hear that person say, “oh, she’s kinda thick” or “she’s not that hot”. And then in your confusion, you look back at the guy, and you’re like, dude, you’re not exactly Brad Pitt… actually you’re not even really Bud Bundy… in fact, you’re more like Screech from Saved by the Bell.
The point being, you got to have realistic expectations, Broseph. If you’re 5, your starting point should be chicks who are 5s. Now, of course, you can and should strive to do better. But, that’s only going to happen if you’re actually a cool person. As in, throw in a +2 for the personality factor, and now you’re a 7 on the overall scale, and you now have the potential to bag hot chicks.
Here’s living proof. Let’s take Donald Trump. He’s probably anywhere between a 5-7 depending on how you rate his toupee. So, for discussion sake, let’s call him a 6. But he’s a cool guy. (Yes, arrogant and cocky fu*kers get more respect from us than nice wussy teabags). So bump him up +2 and he’s now an 8 on the adjusted scale. Now you see why he’s getting hot chicks. [More on this later, for those of you who are just saying it’s because he’s rich].
So Screech, work on lowering your voice a couple octaves, and soon you’ll be getting a few attractive chicks. Until then, just be happy with the 4’s and 5’s of the world.
